Have you ever felt stuck in a rut with your mentee? Maybe appointments continuously fall off the calendar, or there has been minimal progress made toward reaching goals.
First, you aren't alone. Second, maybe that means it's time to reevaluate where the mentorship is in its cycle and to determine if it makes sense to change course. Some mentor-mentee relationships may carry through your career, others may slow down or speed up at different times, while others may sunset after just a few short years. Just like any relationship, there will be phases and it will evolve based on circumstance and expectations.
Here are a few reflections on the life cycle of mentor-mentee relationships:
Starting your mentorship journey: Preparing and initiating the mentorship relationship
Once you've connected with a new mentee and established mutual interests and compatibility, there can be a lot of early excitement about the potential of the relationship. Not only has the mentee found a person willing to commit their time, knowledge and resources to help them progress in their career, but the mentor has found a person to help their leadership skills grow and flourish.
Ideally, the mentor should capitalize on this natural enthusiasm by quickly working to identify the mentee's personal and professional growth areas while getting to know them as an individual in and outside of the work environment. Taking this time to learn about strengths, weaknesses and goals while the mentorship is still fresh is important because it sets the tone for the remainder of the relationship.
Aligning on boundaries, expectations, roles and goals in the beginning can be uncomfortable but necessary to ensure the relationship is set up for success. It requires a transparent conversation early on to define the guardrails that will shape the rest of your mentorship.
Finally, you'll want to establish a firm rhythm with your mentee — whether that's scheduling recurring phone calls, keeping each other updated over email or grabbing a cup of coffee regularly. Figuring out what works for both schedules can be challenging, especially as work and family schedules get in the way. Leverage the excitement of the beginning stage to lock down a formal rhythm or cadence before the freshness wears off and calendars fill up.
Navigating the journey: Encountering change and evolving through ups and downs
Arguably, establishing a strong foundation is the most important step of a mentorship relationship and will help you avoid future challenges and pitfalls that might come your way. But challenges are inevitable and should be viewed as opportunities for growth. My best advice to navigating a mentor-mentee journey is to remain flexible.
Some mentees will knock their goals out of the park faster than expected — and that's when the mentor could offer to help establish new goals and strategies or begin to sunset the mentorship. But other times, the mentee might not be meeting goals or might become restless when progress appears to have slowed down. I often explain to my mentees that some goals may take months and others may take years to accomplish, but the journey along the way is just as enriching. Remain positive, try to work within their current situation and help them adapt.
Not only do challenges arise as they relate to goals and strategies, but scheduling conflicts can easily get in the way too, especially in a fast-paced clinical setting. If meetings keep getting rescheduled or deadlines missed, it's appropriate to have another level-setting conversation with the mentee to hold them accountable to the mutually agreed upon goals and expectations set at the beginning of the relationship.
Closure: What does it look like?
When a mentorship feels like it's getting stagnant — whether it's because of lack of buy-in, distance or simply evolving goals and needs — it may be time to re-evaluate if the mentorship relationship, in a formal sense, is still beneficial. Keep in mind, every mentor-mentee relationship is different and not all were formed to last forever. Broaching the conversation of whether or not the relationship is still serving its purpose and bringing value to both parties is reasonable and necessary — and it doesn't mean you've failed. Carefully consider how you can share your thought process and have a transparent conversation about what you've both learned and what's going to be most valuable for both of you going forward.
Oftentimes, the partnership might need to end because the mentee's goals have been met and you recognize they might need different skills and resources to continue developing professionally. While it can feel bittersweet, make sure to celebrate all that has been accomplished during the relationship and help the mentee plan for the future. For example, I often offer to connect mentees to other potential mentors and opportunities so they will continue their professional development.
Are you in the process of determining whether to continue your mentor-mentee relationship? How has your journey shaped the mentor you are today? I want to hear your stories and questions to help guide future conversations and columns right here in Becker's Dentistry + DSO Review.
Share your feedback at aportalatin@beckershealthcare.com.
Dr. Arwinder Judge is the chief clinical officer at Aspen Dental.